Award-winning novelist Heidi Chiavaroli brings Lent to vivid life with stories of those who encounter our savior in the pages of Scripture. Today, at the beginning of Lent, we put ourselves in the shoes of those among the very first to meet Jesus – the shepherds.

A Shepherd’s Story

The lamb squirms in his arms and he remembers the first time he’d helped birth a lamb. The first time he’d wrapped a precious, pure animal in swaddling cloths. That day, his eight-­year-­old brother, Benesh, had begged to join him. Although Rani had agreed, he resented Benesh’s company.

But all that was forgotten when the ewe had brought forth a spotless lamb.

Though Benesh despised being alone in the fields, Rani handed him his rod and staff, instructing his brother to stay with the sheep. He had not waited for Benesh’s agreement before rushing toward the city to find his father.

At the city gates, Rani heard Benesh calling after him. He silently cursed his brother for leaving the sheep. As always, though, his brother followed him. When Rani ducked around the chariot of the imperial family to escape Benesh, he had not expected his small brother to follow.

It was half an hour past my bedtime; I should have been cozy in bed, fast asleep. But here I was, pacing around my kitchen—­again—­my attention fixated on the box of granola bars in the pantry.

I know I shouldn’t eat one.

More pacing.

It’s not on my plan.

I paced some more.

But it has chocolate chips!

By the time I entered my staring contest with that granola bar, I’d already spent hours ruminating on everything the enemy wanted me to believe.

I’ve already blown it.

It’s too late to make a different choice.

I might as well eat the granola bar and try to do better tomorrow.

I was stuck, and I couldn’t see a way out. Maybe you feel that way too.

How We Get Stuck

The truth is, I wasn’t able to keep following all the diet rules for long. I broke those laws every single day. 

Do it “right” or don’t do it at all, my Diet Dictator demanded.

Half-eaten chicken nuggets were scattered across the floor of my minivan, and the faint whiff of a diaper lost under a seat somewhere permeated the air. I didn’t notice any of it that day. I stared absently past the dust on the dashboard.

I looked down at my journal. It read: There’s a very real chance that my marriage will end in divorce.

You see, two months prior and almost ten years into what I thought was the perfect marriage, I found out that my husband had betrayed me. It shattered me.

Everything I thought I knew about him and our relationship suddenly felt like a lie. I didn’t even recognize myself. I was confused, sad, and so angry. It felt like I was free-falling through a black hole, and I didn’t even know if it was possible to get to the other side. Or if this—in all my pain and anger—was who I had become.

In the following months and years, I leaned into healing and processing the pain. I joined a support group. My husband and I went to counseling. I honored my anger and put it into words.

“Only if you pay me”: What a Five-Year-Old Can Teach Us About Kids, Work, and Money

“Only if you pay me.”

Manuela met her mother, Evelyn’s eyes as she spoke. Evelyn gaped back at her five-year-old daughter, astonished.

“You were so excited to do your summer play book last week, Manuela!” Evelyn pleaded. 

“Why don’t you want to do it anymore? You can get the sticker at the end if you finish.”

“It’s not a playbook. It’s work,” insisted the rising kindergartener. “You paid me to do the letters and numbers before! I should get paid for this workbook. It’s work.”

On this point, Manuela was correct. The book was meant to keep kids academically engaged over the summer, but she wasn’t fooled by the “play” label. Now her parents were stuck. Last week, they had paid her a quarter when she didn’t want to do the workbook. This week, she wanted the same treatment. Manuela had learned the value of her work—just not in the way her parents hoped.

If you have young children, this scenario probably feels familiar. Many parents deeply want to teach their kids financial basics, but don’t know where to start.

Prayer for the man you love that moves you from fixing to surrender. Lay the burden down, trust God with his heart, and watch Him work.

Six years ago, I decided I would stop trying to change my husband. Not because I was giving up on him or us, but because I realized I was trying to bear a weight I was never meant to carry. I knew God wanted more for him and for us, but I was exhausted trying to make it happen on my own.

Whatever you are praying for—Girl, I have been there, and my heart is with you.

I Wanted More for Him

Although my intentions were good, my longing for more for my husband, Marcus, came out entirely sideways. I nagged. I incessantly suggested ways he could improve certain behaviors. I took on a sort of Messiah complex where I tried to fix him. Maybe you can relate to this “fix it” mentality. 

The problem is that when we adopt this mentality over someone else’s problems, our boundaries can sometimes get blurred. What we really need to do is shift our focus from fix and control to surrender and prayer.

Righteous and barren. Honorable and heartbroken. It’s hard to put such words together.

Zechariah and Elizabeth were righteous in God’s eyes, careful to obey all of the Lord’s commandments and regulations. They had no children because Elizabeth was unable to conceive, and they were both very old.
Luke 1:6–7

Zechariah and Elizabeth loved God and honored Him with their lives, even though their quiet home reminded them daily that God hadn’t come through for them in the way they had hoped.

People of Depth and Conviction

What happens in your heart when God doesn’t give you what you want? Do you loosen your grip on what you know to be true? Do you wander from the very things that keep your soul free and whole? Especially at Christmastime, we tend to gravitate toward indulgence because we prefer to feel a surface level of happiness rather than to acknowledge the pain buried beneath the surface.

Elizabeth and Zechariah were people of depth and conviction. They honored God with their lives even though (it seemed) He hadn’t heard their prayer.

But then one day their story took a turn. 

God ordained it one day for Zechariah to enter the Temple to offer sacrifices.

It is useless for you to work so hard
from early morning until late at night,
anxiously working for food to eat;
for God gives rest to his loved ones.
Psalm 127:2

The lie of anxiety is that something “out there” will give us the calm we crave. So we
push ourselves, keep searching, try harder. Have you noticed this feeling during the
holidays, especially? I have.

But this one phrase in Psalm 127:2 changes everything: “For God gives rest.” This kind
of rest isn’t about a lack of physical activity. God encourages us to enjoy his good gifts,
be productive, and take steps of obedience. Instead, this is about resting from anxiety-
based striving that exhausts us and leaves us feeling empty.

Anxiety tells us having inner peace is about what we can get. The truth is, inner peace
is something only God can give. What our souls truly need can’t be bought or built;
it can only be bestowed on us by a good God who invites us into grace.

God, give me the wisdom to know when anxiety is pushing me.

“For unto us a Child is born” Isaiah 9:6

Has your family started planning meals for your holiday get-togethers? If a charcuterie board is somewhere in your planning, you’re so on-trend.

Three hundred years ago, a great deal of thought was put into meals for a man who was so laser-focused on his work that for almost three weeks, he refused everything prepared for him. He barely slept. Those who brought him food returned many hours later to find it untouched. Day after day. 

Messiah

The task with which the man was so obsessed? Committing to paper what the Holy Spirit was moving him to pen, a masterpiece we now know as Handel’s Messiah. The motivation that kept George Frideric Handel up at night—furiously scribbling so he didn’t miss any nuance—was rooted in what had kept Isaiah the prophet up all night 2,400 years earlier—a voice from heaven speaking into the darkness: 

For unto us a Child is born, 

Unto us a Son is given; 

And the government will be upon His shoulder, 

And His name will be called 

Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

My flight was delayed—­again—­and as I’d been sitting for over three hours, I decided to stretch my legs and walk the length of the airport concourse. I saw a woman sitting by herself at an empty gate, and I could tell that she was crying. She had pulled a headscarf down over her face, but her shoulders were shaking. I sat down beside her and waited. After a few moments she lifted her head and looked at me.

“Can I help?” I asked.

Lost and Alone

She shook her head and said something, but it was in a language I didn’t recognize or understand. She was clutching a piece of paper in her right hand, and I touched it, as if to ask if I could see it. Reluctantly, she passed it to me. It was a phone number, so I decided to call the number, hoping whoever was on the other end could help.

When a man answered, I tried to explain what was going on, describing the woman as best I could. He told me it was his mother. I passed the phone to her, and her face lit up.

Parents of teens often struggle with tough conversations. Learn what not to say, how to avoid exasperating your teen, and how to build trust instead.

What Not to Say

Having conversations with our teenagers about important issues can be really tough. It’s easy for our teens to misunderstand us and often hard for them to see the big picture behind our intentions. Next thing we know, the conversation takes a bad turn. We know our teens. Their weak areas. Their vulnerable points. We know where their buttons are, and it would be easy to push them. But that would be a form of exasperating our kids, which violates a clear command God gives parents in Ephesians 6:4:

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

What does exasperating our kids look like?

• Accusing them—especially if we claim to know their motives when only God does.
• Interrupting them without asking for permission first.
• Acting annoyed or impatient with them as they talk.
• Arguing or debating them as they try to explain themselves.