{"id":89510,"date":"2026-02-01T19:16:48","date_gmt":"2026-02-02T03:16:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/club31women.com\/?post_type=devotional&p=89510"},"modified":"2026-02-02T04:57:25","modified_gmt":"2026-02-02T12:57:25","slug":"surrendering-expectations-instead-of-trying-to-shape-everyone-else","status":"publish","type":"devotional","link":"https:\/\/club31women.com\/devotional\/surrendering-expectations-instead-of-trying-to-shape-everyone-else\/","title":{"rendered":"Surrendering Expectations Instead of Trying to Shape Everyone Else"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands. -1 Thessalonians 4:11<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s natural for us to have expectations of other people. When we confide in someone, we expect them to be discreet. When we put our trust in a leader, we expect them to have integrity \u2014 especially when no one is watching. When we are married, we expect our spouse to be faithful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These aren\u2019t unrealistic expectations, nor is it bad or wrong to have them. We should expect honorable and good things out of people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

We are seeing more and more how common expectations such as these aren\u2019t being met. We\u2019re seeing how much compromise is not only being tolerated, but downplayed and even celebrated. Disappointment here is expected. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the other hand, sometimes we place expectations on others that we don\u2019t even put on ourselves. We can get so busy criticizing and analyzing the \u201cfailures\u201d of other people, we neglect to tend to our own lives and work on our own issues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Time and time again, I am faced with the reality of a hurting and broken world. A world that carries trauma, yes, but it also carries selfishness, pride, and lots of deflection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all carry a bit of trauma, and if we don\u2019t address it, we\u2019re just going to keep the cycle going and hurt each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Release Your Expectations of Others<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Expectations can get complicated. If we don\u2019t have some expectations of people, what accountability is there? Certain expectations are necessary and normal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, when we allow our expectations to keep going beyond what\u2019s within our scope of responsibility, or they begin to infringe on the freedom of others, not only can it put a strain on relationships, but it also creates a heaviness in us. I can\u2019t expect all people to think the way I do or have the same perspective.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead, I need to be kind and compassionate, especially when there are differences. Getting angry, controlling, or threatening doesn\u2019t change anyone\u2019s mind or actions. In fact, it only ends up hurting everyone involved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every person has their own journey to walk, and they can\u2019t walk it the same way we do. We are different people with different experiences, personalities, bents, and journeys.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Releasing expectations is a little different than releasing control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Too many expectations create emotional entanglement that only leaves us consistently disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters.
-Romans 14:1<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Excessive Expectations Hurt Relationships<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s considered excessive? This can be subjective but here are a few examples of what comes to mind:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Expecting others to eat the way you do because it\u2019s \u201cbetter\u201d
Expecting others to have the same taste in Christian music
Expecting others to share your conviction on clothing style
Expecting others to see the worst in people rather than the redemption<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You see, God is working on every person at the pace they need for growth, healing, and wholeness. We think we see everything and we don\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Does this give excuse for criminal behavior or abuse? No. These are a different kind of expectation. However, if we aren\u2019t directly involved in a situation, we need to be very, very careful about accusations and spreading gossip.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when we begin making judgements on people because they don\u2019t live up to all our expectations, we walk on dangerous ground. This is the kind of territory that hurts relationships. This is a hard lesson I\u2019ve had to learn myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes we don\u2019t see our expectations as expectations. We see them as \u201cwanting the best for someone\u201d and that very well may be true. But the person on the receiving end may not see it that way. And if the expectations continue to pile up, people can feel as if they can never measure up. When they are around you, they may always feel like a disappointment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart. -1 Samuel 16:7<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You Are Your First Responsibility<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

No one is responsible for you the way you are. Sometimes we spend too much time trying to change and shape and \u201cspeak into\u201d the lives of others who often aren\u2019t receptive. Then, when they don\u2019t respond how we expect them to, we\u2019re disappointed, frustrated, worried, or angry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead of spending our precious energy on investing so heavily into how we expect others should think and live, let\u2019s invest it in ourselves and becoming the kind of person we were created to be, by the power of the Holy Spirit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.<\/em> -Galatians 6:4-5<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love Builds Up<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Showing love to someone means loving them as they are and not as you want them to be. This can be difficult to comprehend because we often expect people to love us by giving us what we want. There is a fine line between expectation and manipulation. It\u2019s important that we take our excessive expectations of people to the Lord.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When it comes to love, we are the only ones we are responsibile for. We aren\u2019t responsible for how other people love, only how we love others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
<\/em>-Ephesians 4:2<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prayer<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Dear God,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I pray you help me release the excessive expectations I may place upon others, even when I may not realize it. Help me remember you have their lives in your hands and my job is to love them well. Search my heart, Lord, and help me work on the things in myself that need refining. In Jesus’ name. Amen<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In His Word<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans. -Psalm 118:8<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.<\/em> -Proverbs 3:5-6<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We Recommend<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Read the book of Romans. This book is rich with learning about your identity in Christ, grace toward others, and knowing the proper place for expectations while loving others. Here is a wonderful study if you’d like some guidance for deep study. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In Christ Alone: A study on the book of Romans<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s Connect<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

You can find Christin sharing daily reflections to stir your soul here<\/a>, as well as practical discipleship on her blog<\/a>. You can also follow her on Instagram<\/a>.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":18,"featured_media":89771,"template":"","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":""},"topic":[],"coauthors":[928],"class_list":["post-89510","devotional","type-devotional","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\nSurrendering Expectations Instead of Trying to Shape Everyone Else - 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